Day by Day

Friday, March 07, 2008

Help Me! - I Can't Walk & Text at the Same Time

It used to be that the standard for being able to do two things at once was if someone could walk and chew gum at the same time (this having replaced the eon long practice of patting your head and rubbing your tummy at the same time.)

These days, there's a new emerging standard - can you walk and send text messages from your phone at the same time. (If that last sentence was not quite clear, then you can probably continue using the chewing gum standard.)

Reports from London show that a staggering one out of ten people have hurt themselves while sending text messages.

I'll say it again. 10% of the population has injured themselves while texting (this can also allow for chatting, but... most likely texting.)

In the United States, this would extrapolate to approximately 30 million injuries.

What steps are being taken to address this scandalous uptick in cellphone injuries? Maybe commercials by cute, fuzzy animals singing songs to us about how to be aware of the rest of the world?


London is trying padded lampposts.

(I'll give you a second...)

They are putting padding around lampposts for those folks who are so busy texting that they're not watching where they are walking and BAM! walk headlong into an innocent lamppost.

What does this say for society at large? We have to protect the populace from lampposts placed recklessly in the paths of people who have forgotten how to look UP while walking (anyone else secretly terrified about how these walking maladies might be driving?).

What's next? Pad the trees? Sides of buildings? Perhaps we can turn all of our cities into giant padded rooms.

Because, if we're truly going to ascribe to the theory that the best way to address people too dumb to look up is to pad the obstacles in front of them, then a padded room is what we'll need.

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